Are you a people pleaser? Although it’s good be polite and kind, there’s no need to say yes to everything on other people’s agendas. It will eventually wear you down, so you need to learn to say no.
Many people don’t like saying no because they see it as a negative, they think they’re missing an opportunity, or they’re uncomfortable doing it.
Regarding no being negative, it’s how you deliver a no. No is not a complete sentence. On the flip side, don’t give a massive explanation as to why you’re saying no. For example “Thank you for the opportunity. It’s not for us so we’d like to decline your offer.” It’s still friendly and polite.
With missing an opportunity, you need to look at what you miss out on, by taking on this new opportunity. You want to make conscious decisions about what you do, and don’t take on everything. Sometimes it can be a deferral because the time is not right, and other times the opportunity is not better than what your alternatives are.
Finally it’s about being comfortable being uncomfortable. Being a people pleaser can actually be negative, not just for you, but for the person you’re rescuing. You can be disempowering them. In the case of trades, many give a high price and are frustrated when it’s accepted. Don’t give that price unless you’re willing to do the work! Don’t say we’re busy, because they’ll come back later!
Learn to say no in a kind way and maintain your sanity.