“Love doesn’t need words or even memories to thrive,” says Carolyn Bourke, a Hawkesbury resident and Vineyard-based author, capturing the essence of her debut novel, A Beautiful Death.
Reflecting on her own experience as a chaplain, as well as her studies in ageing and pastoral care and years of work in clinical supervision and coaching, Carolyn says the idea for the book grew from walking alongside people living with dementia and witnessing grief and end-of-life journeys firsthand.
The novel follows Cassie Brennan, a once world-renowned concert pianist who now lives with rapidly advancing dementia and the lives she touches along her journey.
Carolyn says a dementia diagnosis can feel devastating for individuals and families, but believes there can still be moments of love, learning, laughter and growth. “I hope readers will be encouraged that while their loved ones may forget their names, they are still aware of the relationships that exist, although they may not be able to articulate it.”
“My mother didn’t remember my name in her final years, but her face would light up when I visited her. Somehow, she knew me even if she didn’t remember who I was,” she adds.
She also highlights the important role of carers, noting the work can often feel exhausting and unrelenting. Support is available through Dementia Australia (https://www.dementia.org.au/), which provides a range of services including the free National Dementia Helpline on 1800 100 500.
“Practical strategies can also help ease distress for both carers and their loved ones,” she says.
Carolyn also challenges common perceptions of aged care, saying residential facilities should not be seen only as a ‘last resort’, but as places where people can still be seen, known and loved. She points to her own work, where she has seen residents continue to learn, contribute and build new relationships, including a former psychologist now living in care who serves on an advisory committee for a new project.
Community, she says, has become especially important as she currently faces unexpected health challenges. She describes being deeply moved by the way colleagues, family, friends and neighbours have rallied around her, offering both practical help with her book launch and emotional support.
“It wouldn’t be happening without them,” she says.
She is already working on a sequel that will continue the lives of key characters and answer questions left at the end of A Beautiful Death. She is also planning a further work exploring how older women can feel invisible in society, while celebrating the value they continue to bring to their communities.
