They say it takes a village to help raise a child, but from our own personal experience, we can say it takes a whole community filled with love and kindness to help raise a family from the depths of heartbreak and sadness. And that’s what you’ve all done for us. It would be impossible for me to name each person that has helped us get here today – but from the bottom of Maui, Tama, Kai and my heart we are sending thanks to each and every person that has loved and helped us in some way – whether it be through meals, cards, flowers or donations. There are no words to express how much love and gratitude we have for each and every one of you – and I know that Rewi would be so grateful to you for looking after us. The boys and I want to give special thanks to Mum and Dad (Nanny & Pa) plus friends who we now call family, Vaughan and Cheryl, for wrapping us in love these past couple of weeks (and always) to help us get through each day and then wake up the next. The boys have even commented on how lucky we are to have our own guardian angels through this difficult time. Thank you and we love you very much. ~ Jackie Pakinga
When the boys asked me to talk today on behalf of us, I just didn’t know where to start. How do you fit a lifetime of memories into a few short words? It seems like an impossible task. So let me just share a few memories from the beginning.
Rewi and I first laid eyes on each other at the Marble Bar at the Sydney Hilton almost 25 years ago. Rewi was in his element singing on stage. Rewi said he noticed me from the stage, but I left to go to another bar with another group of people. I remember Rewi saying he just thought “if it’s meant to be it will be”. He was walking past another bar about an hour later and happened to see me sitting in there. After a while he plucked up the courage to come and talk. We talked for ages. I asked where he was from, and he said “Wangarei”. I then said, “Is that the same as “Whangarei”. He said that was the moment he knew he was going to marry me.
When we were planning our wedding, we decided we wanted a non-denominational ceremony so we started interviewing celebrants so we could find the “perfect” one. (Anyone that knew Rewi would understand that finding the perfect anything was really important to him).
When we went to sign the paperwork, I said “I think this is the wrong paperwork. This paperwork says that we’re going to be married in the Reorganised Church of Latter-Day Saints”. The celebrant said, “That’s correct – did I not mention that I’m actually a Mormon minister?”
So… yes – our wedding certificate does say that we were married in the Reorganised Church of Latter Day Saints.
Anyway… that prompted Rewi and I to go into action and write our whole wedding service – from beginning to end – for the celebrant to just read on the day. We asked that he not deviate from any words we had written!
I thought I’d share some of the words that we wrote together for our wedding service as I think it will speak for both Rewi and I on some of the sentiments we feel today.
“Love unites, love lets us forgive, it eliminates our differences, our prejudices, our worries and our sorrow. We all stand here united for Rewi and Jackie. We stand tall like the trees that surround us.
These two people from different worlds, different families, different cultures, have found the most important common interest in their complicated worlds… each other.”
Looking out at the sea of faces here today, I can imagine that many of you may not know each other. But our love for Rewi unites us. Rewi has been a huge part of the community doing everything from plumbing to helping people in need, a friend to chat to and of course most of us know him for his beautiful voice and ability to perform.
Rewi and I have had so many adventures together since we met – we’ve seen countless number of bands together and have had so many musical adventures, we’ve travelled, successfully led a fight against a huge development, made so many friends across so many communities and walks of life, we’ve had lots of hilarious “this only happens in movies” kind of things happen (like when he lost my keys down an elevator shaft at 4am then we had a stealth mission to retrieve them, he picked me up in a lift and jumped in the air as we were going up resulting in us getting stuck in a lift between floors for 3 hours and a whole fire brigade having to rescue us). Like most marriages, we also faced some hard times – but through it all we have always loved each other; and we will always love each other from earth and beyond.
By far the greatest experience we’ve shared together has been raising our 3 beautiful boys – Maui, Tama and Kai. Sometimes it’s crazy and loud – imagine a house where you have someone on an electric guitar, one or two on saxophones, another on drums, maybe someone singing – and they’re all singing and playing different songs! Never a dull moment – and certainly never a quiet one in our home!
But we’ve certainly shared lots of laughter and we wouldn’t trade a second of our time together as a family for anything! Rewi was a wonderful Dad to the boys and would always show up for them in everything they would do. Maui was lucky enough to have had the opportunity to perform with Rewi over the last couple of years and I could see how very proud Rewi was of all of his sons. Rewi also shared his Maori culture with the boys and I – something he was very proud to do.
The boys and I will continue to honour this connection and ensure this lives on through them. There is no doubt that the lives of the boys and I have been changed for ever. He’s left a big hole in our hearts but we will love him forever and ensure his memory lives on through us.
As this is Rewi’s day, we’re going to give Rewi the final word on behalf of our family. In January, we were writing notes about what we are grateful for so that we could look back on them at the end of the year. I’m going to share one of Rewi’s notes with you:
“I am grateful that I was gifted a voice that allows me to sing. If it wasn’t for this I wouldn’t have met the most special woman in the world to me – my wife and the mother to our three beautiful boys Maui, Tama and Kai. I am grateful to be able to enjoy going to the beach with my family. I am grateful that we get to spend time together at the beach house at Elizabeth Beach and to create lifelong memories of happiness as a family. I am grateful for my health and my ability to be able to share this happy time with my family. I am grateful most of all that Jackie came into my life at The Marble Bar so many years ago and we have built a life and family together”.
